Today, we are so excited to share part of Becca and Rodo’s story with you. They have been married for almost 8 years and they are sharing how they have lived out the vow “For Better, For Worse.”
“My husband and I have been married for 8 years this March. We have been serving the Lord together through the call of fighting for orphans, widows, and vulnerable children for 10 years now. Those 10 years have brought us through some crazy rides. The latest being moving our family from Mazatlán, Mexico to Quintana Roo Mexico. •
A year ago to date our family started our work in Quintana Roo. We have two crazy awesome boys (4 yr and 2 yr). But, we came out of a season with community surrounding us, our rhythm of date nights and our routines for family and work were balanced. Then, we were on sabbatical where we were completely focused on each other and spending time with those we love and miss from the states.The transition from sabbatical to Quintana Roo was by far one of the hardest things we have done. •
I have heard the phrase, “expectations are premeditated resentments”. That is some truth that came into existence for us. Our focus was completely outward in 2018. Which means, everything we did was for others. We had little to nothing to give to our family (besides the basic care) at the end of each day and social media just made the feeling worse. Seeing everyone investing in their families and marriages made us feel like we were in a dark hole that we couldn’t climb out of. We would try, and then our expectations would get in the way and ruin our fun family day or an evening of trying to be close to one another. It felt very much like we have to get through the day rather than embracing the day with each other and with our boys.
We honestly believe that positive talk in your marriage and focusing on what the other IS doing instead of all of the things they AREN’T doing can change our perspective of things that are happening in our marriage. So, I started noticing all the little things my husband does for me and our boys throughout the day.
I also started viewing those of ways he continuously washes my feet. By him following through with an errand, by him working hard, by him cooking breakfast so I didn’t have to, by him dressing the boys, by him turning on our water heater so we can have hot water, by him refilling the jugs of water so we can have clean drinking water were all ways that he washes my feet daily.
Also, in recognizing our rut that we were in, we were pro active in joining a love dare challenge put-on by the dating divas (thedatingdivas.com). They have such fun, creative ideas in how to keep the spark alive and invest in your true love. Some are free, some are not. We have been going to their website for YEARS just to spark it up sometimes. So, each day for 3 month they emailed me a simple task to do for my husband that would only take 10 minutes. They switched between emailing him and emailing me. So it wasn’t just a one way effort. we each had the opportunity to do something small for the other. And now I can tell you, we are talking more, praying together more, vision casting together, fighting less, putting boundaries where they are needed, and spending more quality time with each other and with our family. Regaining our perspective was something we definitely needed. And I’m thankful for the season that brought us where we are today. We will always be focused on others being missionaries. But remembering to love each other in simple ways, prioritize time with one another, and to get rid of expectations are simple ways that brought us out of our funk.